Yontura's Page of Uselessness

(Nonsense and Sensless Nons)


Light travels at the speed of light.

Sound is not a sound unless heard.

Sound is no faster than Mach 1

All gases are not lighter than air.

The background of this page is every color except black.

The last time I tried to commit suicide was two hours ago.

A natural rainbow is only half of what you can see.

Mountain lions don't live at the beach.

If a multiple personallity says he is going to kill themself, is it a hostage situation?

All flys should be killed.

What do you add to instant water?

I am not schzitzophrenic...you just think we are.

I like to drive on the parkway and park in the driveway.

You say the glass is half full? I say we kill the sucker who drank the first half.

Why are all near mid-air collisions called a near miss? Aren't they actually near hits?

Why it it that no one has seen a gruntled employee? Obviously they must all be disgruntled.


omain of Yontura.

A taste of Yontura's folk music

from his homeworld......Deryndu.